During the first meeting with a group, you should lead a conversation about what happens in mentoring and allow potential mentees to choose for themselves whether they want to participate in mentoring (Table 3). Mentoring is for any young person, but they must choose it.
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Table 3. To-Do List for the First Meeting
When: Day 1, typically September
Materials: Mentee Portrait (Intake Form)
Procedure: Discuss the idea of mentoring
Explain confidentiality and its limits
Ask the mentees to choose whether to participate in mentoring
(If yes) Collect intake information
When: Day 1, typically September
Materials: Mentee Portrait (Intake Form)
Procedure: Discuss the idea of mentoring
Explain confidentiality and its limits
Ask the mentees to choose whether to participate in mentoring
(If yes) Collect intake information
The implicit theme of this session is autonomy. When people are autonomous, they feel free and volitional in their actions (Deci & Flaste, 1995). For mentoring to be useful to the mentees, it is vital that mentees feel free and volitional in their choice to participate in mentoring. If mentees do not feel that they had a choice, they are less likely to persist in mentoring, and they are probably more likely to perceive mentoring as a school requirement like many other school requirements. Moreover, they will probably feel less responsible for what happens in mentoring.
You should explain to potential mentees what mentoring is and that it is voluntary. There are many ways of explaining what mentoring is. In my mind, mentoring is an ongoing conversation with someone who cares about you and what you do with your life. However, I also think it is important to explain that in mentoring what the group does is up to the group. The mentor does not have a curriculum to carry out or lesson plans to follow. There are a few topics or ideas that are probably important to talk about, but the main point to mentoring is that the mentor (and the group) is here to support the mentee in pursuing his or her goals.
Confidentiality and its Limits
Many adolescents do not yet understand what confidentiality is. You must take the time to explain the concept to them, as well as the rules about breaking confidentiality. Once you have told them what confidentiality is and under what circumstances you will break confidentiality, then mentees can freely decide what information to share. An example explanation of confidentiality is in Table 4.
Many adolescents do not yet understand what confidentiality is. You must take the time to explain the concept to them, as well as the rules about breaking confidentiality. Once you have told them what confidentiality is and under what circumstances you will break confidentiality, then mentees can freely decide what information to share. An example explanation of confidentiality is in Table 4.
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Table 4. Example Explanation of Confidentiality*
- CLP Facilitator: “What you tell me is confidential. That means that I will not tell others what you tell me. I won’t tell teachers, counselors, other students, or your parents without your permission. Sometimes I will talk with my supervisor about our conversations, but I won’t use your name.
- “But there are certain times when I will tell someone what you tell me. If I learn that you or another minor has been hurt, or if I think that you might be in danger of hurting yourself or hurting someone else, then I will tell someone so that I can keep you and everyone else safe. Your safety is my number one priority.
- Everything else you tell me is confidential.”
[If this is a group:]
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“I think that the whole group should follow the same rule and keep everyone’s
information confidential. What do you think? - “What other rules should we have for our group?” (Consider writing them down.)
*Based on Karcher (2012)
Invitation to Mentoring and Mentee Portrait
Once you have discussed what mentoring is and what confidentiality and its limits are, then you must ask the students to choose whether they want to participate in mentoring. It is important that they know that it is completely up to them. Even if adults at their school or program want them to participate in mentoring, the choice is still theirs. And you will support them in their choice, no matter what their choice is.
Once you have discussed what mentoring is and what confidentiality and its limits are, then you must ask the students to choose whether they want to participate in mentoring. It is important that they know that it is completely up to them. Even if adults at their school or program want them to participate in mentoring, the choice is still theirs. And you will support them in their choice, no matter what their choice is.
Each student’s choice about whether to do mentoring is recorded in Step 1 of the Mentee Portrait, the intake form shown in Figure 1. If a student chooses not to participate in mentoring, he or she should only complete the cover page. If a student does choose to participate in mentoring, then give the Mentee Portrait to the student (now a mentee) to complete.
Figure 1. Mentee Portrait
Step 2 of the Mentee Portrait elicits basic information that helps us understand the demographic characteristics of our mentees, as well as questions about how the mentees perceive their own life skills (goal-setting, emotional, communication, social, and problem-solving), what life changes they want to make, and what they want to work on in mentoring.
At the end of the session, collect all Mentee Portraits. Enter the information into the online database. This action initiates the enrollment process for the mentee, generating a Participant ID number. Finally, bring the hard copy of all Mentee Portraits to mentoring supervision so that they can be kept on file.